his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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