I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
