I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I wish I had a tail.
...why not?
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