I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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