so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
