Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize