I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
