I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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