You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
