I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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