Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
