What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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