i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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