i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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