did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i would punch a child for taco bell
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize