Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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