it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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