Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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