entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
