After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
