Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
