Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
