Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
