Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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