i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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