margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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