Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
