Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
