I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
