he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
