hotel room ftw
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize