Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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