Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
