so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
