I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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