At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
