Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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