My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
