we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
