Me too!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
