Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I enjoy the company of your penis
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
