did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
