Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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