This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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