either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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