When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
not ubering you a puppy
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