all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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