i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
