Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize