I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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