im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Every concussion has its silver lining
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
