I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
