I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
