You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
