just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize