So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
