My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
