he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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