If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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