I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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