I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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