Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
