At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
