Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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